14 posts categorized "Humor"

FrieNDA Revised Template v1.26

FrieNDA Shrug


Hello George and Joanna,

I’m looking forward to having brunch with you on Sunday and catching up. It’s been so long since we last talked. Can’t wait!

Just so you know, there were some sensitive things I wanted to discuss as part of our conversation. Would you be so kind as to print and sign this, and bring it with you?

Thanks! And say hi to the kids for me,


P.S. If you have any questions or want to make changes to the attached document, just let me know. I’ll just need to have my lawyer review them.


FrieNDA Revised Template v1.26

This Friend Nondisclosure Agreement (this “Agreement”), effective  [month and day], [year] (“Effective Date”), is entered into by and between [insert name] (“Me”) and [insert names], (“Recipients”) (each herein referred to collectively as “Friends”).

In consideration of previous conversations and the conditions contained herein, the Friends hereby agree to the following:

1. Purpose
The Friends wish to discuss issues of mutual interest (“Issues”). In connection with the Issues, Friends have disclosed, or will further disclose certain Confidential and Embarrassing Information that the Friends may wish to forget entirely.

2. Confidential and Embarrassing Information
“Confidential and Embarrassing Information” means any and all information disclosed between Friends, including, but not limited to, any information disclosed prior to the Effective Date of this agreement, either directly or indirectly in writing, orally or by inspection of items that relate to Issues (including, but not limited to, napkin sketches, images, emails, text messages, video and audio recordings, Vines, snaps, animated GIFs, emojis, and so forth), whether designated or not as “Confidential and Embarrassing” at the time of disclosure.

Exceptions. Confidential and Embarrassing Information shall not include information that the Friends (i) had disclosed as a matter of public record (you can’t fake births and deaths); (ii) posted to social media (including snarky comments that received no Likes); (iii) publicly disclosed more than five years ago (Google never forgets).

Compelled Disclosure. If Friends are legally compelled to disclose any Confidential and Embarrassing Information, you have the right to be notified by the Friend first. This right can only be forfeited by death, bike accident, or request to deliver a TED Talk. (TEDx talks do not apply.)

3. Nonuse and Nondisclosure 
Friends shall not use Confidential and Embarrassing Information for any purpose outside of their 1:1 conversations. If Friends are in long-term relationships or partnerships, expect that after each disclosure they will consider said Information and form additional opinions with their partner that they may disclose to you at a later date as “Advice”.

4. Maintenance and Confidentiality  
Friends shall take appropriate measures to protect the secrecy of and avoid disclosure of Confidential and Embarrassing Information. They shall not write down or make copies of that Information. If Confidential and Embarrassing Information is shared that you didn’t anticipate, for whatever reason, all parties agree that (i) if it was shared publicly, it will be immediately deleted (though see Google Exception, Section 2); (ii) they will reach out to those impacted by the Information to reinforce its confidential nature; (iii) they shall not speak of that Information henceforth or use it in a punitive fashion under the guise of providing Advice.

5. No Obligation
Nothing in this Agreement shall obligate Friends to proceed with a conversation. If at a future date both parties agree not to be Friends, this agreement is still enforceable and in full effect.

6. No Warranty

7. Return of Materials
If Friends ask you to give back the items that you have loaned them, immediately do so. If you have lost or destroyed them, replace the items within a reasonable period of time, even if they were disposed of during a cleaning binge triggered by Advice. If said items are irreplaceable, work with Friend to identify what would be appropriate as compensation. Otherwise, you are in breach of this agreement (see Section 10).

8. No Myth
If in discussion of Issues, Friends shared their Personal Thoughts, Feelings, Hopes, Dreams, Aspirations, Insecurities, and/or Vulnerabilities, neither party may claim that their Friendship is stronger as a result.

9. Term
This agreement lasts forever, and will be passed down to any successive generation that Friends may produce, including AI computer agents. Have you seen Transcendence? Initial here: [   ]

10. Remedies
Upon breach of this agreement, all retaliatory actions are allowed. Except for dueling with pistols.

11. Notice
If Friends have been out of touch for at least one year, (i) this agreement is still in full effect, (ii) there is no assumed malice between both parties, and (iii) you have probable cause to remove them from your social networks.

12. Miscellaneous
Amendments to this agreement must be co-signed by both parties, but only after splitting the bill for Sunday brunch.


IN WITNESS WHEREOF, Friends have executed this Agreement as of the Effective Date.





















The Eight Archetypes of Account Managers

Calling Card

Hello, fine friend. I adore you.

While I am in the midst of brainstorming the campaign, you are having Conversation #34 with the client about how they need to pony up the big bucks for the media buy. Or when I'm having a stakeholder interview with the ornery CEO, you are dutifully distilling our conversation into intelligent soundbites that easily weave into the user experience brief.

Can I imagine life without my trusty partner in (non)crime, the account manager?

Well, yeah. It would suck a whole lot more.

After working with a range of account managers across all sorts of industries, I've started to discern the roles that undergird the business side of our beloved design industry. And much like the various archetypes of art directors you may have met during your own journey through the designopolis, you may have enjoyed the company of these fine account management types that make our work more liveable:

Continue reading "The Eight Archetypes of Account Managers" »

The Eight Archetypes of Art Directors


After you've worked in a lot of creative shops, things start to blend together: hectic days, never-ending meetings, major deadlines looming like fiery blimps on the horizon just threatening to crash down and raze whole townships.

And then there's the art directors. At my first few agency jobs, I just couldn't figure out where they were coming from. Add more "air" to my layouts -- did you mean leading, sir? Shall we spend yet another hour pondering the esoteric quality of the letter "b" in a serif or sans serif typeface for that identity? Every new job seemed to bring a new personality to the table. I would need to learn to take feedback from them in a constructive manner.

I feel like I've been doing this long enough that I'm finally starting to recognize the various hats that we may wear throughout each day. (Some more so than others.)

Designers, do you recognize any of these characters as your boss? Art directors, did I miss any of our ilk?

Continue reading "The Eight Archetypes of Art Directors" »

Is Your Company's Brand a DogCatCow?

Is Your Company's Brand a DogCatCow

The good old metaphor of the blind men and the elephant works in a pinch, but I think it's played out. With the advent of social media, we're sharing enough information about crappy brand experiences that you can see the whole elephant, and you know what? It's not an elephant. Elephants are big, hungry, fast-roaming, vegetarian, and kind of cute. It's more likely a DogCatCow. Today's poorly maintained brands are made of expressive mishmashes of competing behaviors that hide the true wonkiness within confused corporations. If your company barks like a dog, eats like a cow, and scratches at you mercilessly like a cat... then you know something is really wrong.

Why You Are a Designer

A few months back, I posted a chart that showed some of the (tongue-in-cheek) reasons why I'm a designer.

A number of designers across the Web took it upon themselves to remake that chart to show exactly why they are designers as well. Here are some of them.

First up is this one from the designer Loic Sattler:

This one brings it into the game designer space, from Zack Hiwiller's blog:

This final one is from Lee Holloway's blog Tutto lo stesso:

Why am I a designer

If I've missed any, please feel free to comment with a link to your chart and I'll add them to this post!

Design Richter Scale

Design Richter Scale

This week, after reviewing a ton of portfolios, it struck me that the very best design work I've seen recently inspires calm, awe, and respect. Emotionally, my response to each piece of work was narrowly focused. I was feeling what the designer wanted me to feel.

The weaker design work, by contrast, caused a wider range of emotions. Since many of the pieces that I saw weren't cogent design, I would see what the designer was trying to do. The effect of the work was all over the map. Hence the above chart, which inverts the Richter Scale.

In an earthquake, as you zip up the Richter scale the magnitude (and destruction) increases exponentially. When reviewing portfolios, it's the opposite. Really great design work that makes an impact on society has an exponential, focused effect, but instead of leveling cities, it simplifies decisions and inspires emotions (including envy). Weaker design, on the other hand, destabilizes the populace and becomes another layer of visual clutter.

ChangeOrder charts and cartoons are now on Flickr...