FrieNDA Revised Template v1.26
October 14, 2016
Hello George and Joanna,
I’m looking forward to having brunch with you on Sunday and catching up. It’s been so long since we last talked. Can’t wait!
Just so you know, there were some sensitive things I wanted to discuss as part of our conversation. Would you be so kind as to print and sign this, and bring it with you?
Thanks! And say hi to the kids for me,
—Hollis
P.S. If you have any questions or want to make changes to the attached document, just let me know. I’ll just need to have my lawyer review them.
FrieNDA Revised Template v1.26
This Friend Nondisclosure Agreement (this “Agreement”), effective [month and day], [year] (“Effective Date”), is entered into by and between [insert name] (“Me”) and [insert names], (“Recipients”) (each herein referred to collectively as “Friends”).
In consideration of previous conversations and the conditions contained herein, the Friends hereby agree to the following:
1. Purpose
The Friends wish to discuss issues of mutual interest (“Issues”). In connection with the Issues, Friends have disclosed, or will further disclose certain Confidential and Embarrassing Information that the Friends may wish to forget entirely.
2. Confidential and Embarrassing Information
“Confidential and Embarrassing Information” means any and all information disclosed between Friends, including, but not limited to, any information disclosed prior to the Effective Date of this agreement, either directly or indirectly in writing, orally or by inspection of items that relate to Issues (including, but not limited to, napkin sketches, images, emails, text messages, video and audio recordings, Vines, snaps, animated GIFs, emojis, and so forth), whether designated or not as “Confidential and Embarrassing” at the time of disclosure.
Exceptions. Confidential and Embarrassing Information shall not include information that the Friends (i) had disclosed as a matter of public record (you can’t fake births and deaths); (ii) posted to social media (including snarky comments that received no Likes); (iii) publicly disclosed more than five years ago (Google never forgets).
Compelled Disclosure. If Friends are legally compelled to disclose any Confidential and Embarrassing Information, you have the right to be notified by the Friend first. This right can only be forfeited by death, bike accident, or request to deliver a TED Talk. (TEDx talks do not apply.)
3. Nonuse and Nondisclosure
Friends shall not use Confidential and Embarrassing Information for any purpose outside of their 1:1 conversations. If Friends are in long-term relationships or partnerships, expect that after each disclosure they will consider said Information and form additional opinions with their partner that they may disclose to you at a later date as “Advice”.
4. Maintenance and Confidentiality
Friends shall take appropriate measures to protect the secrecy of and avoid disclosure of Confidential and Embarrassing Information. They shall not write down or make copies of that Information. If Confidential and Embarrassing Information is shared that you didn’t anticipate, for whatever reason, all parties agree that (i) if it was shared publicly, it will be immediately deleted (though see Google Exception, Section 2); (ii) they will reach out to those impacted by the Information to reinforce its confidential nature; (iii) they shall not speak of that Information henceforth or use it in a punitive fashion under the guise of providing Advice.
5. No Obligation
Nothing in this Agreement shall obligate Friends to proceed with a conversation. If at a future date both parties agree not to be Friends, this agreement is still enforceable and in full effect.
6. No Warranty
ALL INFORMATION PROVIDED BY FRIENDS IS “AS IS.” SOMETIMES PEOPLE SAY STUPID THINGS AND YOU JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.
7. Return of Materials
If Friends ask you to give back the items that you have loaned them, immediately do so. If you have lost or destroyed them, replace the items within a reasonable period of time, even if they were disposed of during a cleaning binge triggered by Advice. If said items are irreplaceable, work with Friend to identify what would be appropriate as compensation. Otherwise, you are in breach of this agreement (see Section 10).
8. No Myth
If in discussion of Issues, Friends shared their Personal Thoughts, Feelings, Hopes, Dreams, Aspirations, Insecurities, and/or Vulnerabilities, neither party may claim that their Friendship is stronger as a result.
9. Term
This agreement lasts forever, and will be passed down to any successive generation that Friends may produce, including AI computer agents. Have you seen Transcendence? Initial here: [ ]
10. Remedies
Upon breach of this agreement, all retaliatory actions are allowed. Except for dueling with pistols.
11. Notice
If Friends have been out of touch for at least one year, (i) this agreement is still in full effect, (ii) there is no assumed malice between both parties, and (iii) you have probable cause to remove them from your social networks.
12. Miscellaneous
Amendments to this agreement must be co-signed by both parties, but only after splitting the bill for Sunday brunch.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, Friends have executed this Agreement as of the Effective Date.
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